Biits and piieces mem0riess of y0uu!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

being blogging quite a bit these few days. just have the urge to blog. no particular reasons.

anyways, went to watch fireworks with my parents and bro yesterday! beautiful fireworks! made up for my not being able to catch fireworks during national day! its really awesome:) oh ya, did i tell you i met yuehong? one of my very respected seniors, one with quality and skills that is so very rare to find nowadays.

supposed to meet up shun, cong and hong for swimming and lunch today, but thanks to the wet weather, no one is willing to come out! in the end, met up hong for lunch and some catching up! great to meet up some jc friends after so long to find that everyone is still going on alrights!

okays, going for my wisdom tooth extraction soon, going to fix a date to get rid of them. will be painful, i guess, but since its free, why not?? instead of pulling them out in future, when i need to pay for them! going to smoke out some duties some days, just to get rid of wisdom tooth! but i guess that will have to wait till i pass down my ic role. alrights, had this person in mind to hand down to him, though he seem relunctant to take over me, but for the good and welfare of all coxswains and for the better of romeo, i think i will still hand down to him. guess i need to explain to everyone and him why that is my decision. haiz.

today went to temple for lesson. first time having to teach a class. in the past, i was just the assistant, a simple job which i just have to assist the teacher, make sure the students behave and listen to teacher. but today, had to teach a class on my own, although i was assign a assistant, but she was new also! 2nd lesson for her! well, new experience, i must say. probably next year, i can be a teacher on my own! wells, looking forward to that:)

alrights, thats all i got for today, glad that tomorrow wont have to go for AHM (army half marathon). cant imagine me having to complete 21 km!!

you ~~left~~ me @ 10:52 PM

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

i have decided. i will carry on my duty as a romeo ic, till the day i step down. shall put all my heart and soul in trying to groom all the upcoming new coxswains till the day i step down as romeo ic. maybe like this, i will not live with any regrets and my ns life will be a fruitful one. not sure whether i will succeed or not, but you never know if you never try:)

guess it hard for me not to care too much.

you ~~left~~ me @ 10:07 PM

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another week passed. started off well, till near the end of it.

started to think a lot. whether i am doing things that are extra. sometimes, i just feel that things that i do is unneccessary and extra. things that will never be appreciated by others. when the air con is cold, cover blanket for others, when the weather is hot, ask them to drink up. doing more things myself such that others can relax and do their own things. why am i making myself so tired when such things are never taken note or appreciated. haiz. making sure that everything at my station is well taken care of. when officers are coming, initiated to tidy up the whole place, cleaning up everything, tiring myself with such misc stuffs where everyone else thinks that what i am doing is redunctant. i guess, something must really happen before everyone will realise that such things can happen.

that goes the same for my buddy, doing so much things, just to make sure that everyone at sea side will be protected from officers. making sure that everyone will have their weekends free. sometimes, even having to go against our own batch of friends. i guess such things will never be appreciated. haiz.

sometimes, i feel that i am a failure. up to now, my people still unable to do simple chores. the most simple chore that i can find at my station! if only i did teach them properly in the past, such things will not happen today. i guess i rely too much on my junior batches to teach the newest coxswains already. if i did not rely on them so much, i would have taken them personally, and such mistakes will never be committed. haiz. its all my fault! that coxswains standard are dropping.

i guess in future, i should just care about things that concern me and my station. as long as i do not get an extras or confinement, i think i should be contented. afterall, who will care if i care about others so much? nobody wants to do anything even if i say anything. nobody even wants to move or correct their mistakes after i mention it. so, just do things that are in my jobscope. the rest, just heck. probably in a couple of duty cycles more, i will step down and things that happen at romeo will not and never concern me again!

feeling quite emo today, so dont bother about me. i guess i will be alrights tomorrow, after one night's sleep.

you ~~left~~ me @ 9:38 PM

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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

just got screwed in the afternoon.

for mistakes that i made,

for things that i missed out,

for things that i never ever thought that could happen,

for things that i never do,

worse of all, for mistakes that i didnt commit.

i guess, i have to be more careful in future, open my eyes bigger to take note of the surroundings!

tomorrow going to start another duty week. time pls start flying!!

you ~~left~~ me @ 10:44 PM

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Monday, August 11, 2008

back. long time since i come here to leave an entry.

having lots of different feelings this month. no idea why, but whenever i see him taking a puff, i feel disappointed and felt cheated. but why?? i am not related to him in anyway, but why do i care so much? probably cos i just dont wan to see another guy turn to smoking? i just hate myself for not being able to do anything to prevent bl from smoking. now its cs. is smoking really so satisfying? i just dont get it, why do i always feel so bad and disappointed when i see him take a puff? i am in no position to comment on anyone's personal life. initially, thought he was just a social one, but today saw him with a pack, i guess he is not a social anymore. felt a sudden ache in my heart. maybe i am just being emotional. i guess i need to learn how to let go and not care about certain things too much.

wells, getting used to life in ns now, being an ic is not an easy task, but it does make me learn lots of things. getting to know all 16 coxswains well is not an easy task, but i am sure i will be able to do it. all 16 of them are just like my brothers, or part of me, it does hurt me much to see someone sad or being neglected. sometimes, i do feel the pain when i scold them. regreted scolding them after i just scolded them. felt that i was too much at times. but its always too late. but i guess they will never understand me, thinking that i am always trying to pick on them, making life difficult for them? yups, no need to tell me, but i can sense it myself. haiz. not easy being an ic, being too relaxed, probably things will never be done. being strict, people will start t hate you.

okays, on a lighter note, i went shopping!! spent near to 100 bucks in just a weekend shopping! i wanna go shopping more!!

you ~~left~~ me @ 8:21 PM

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