felt a sudden urge to blog today!
it has been near one week.. that i have been sms-ing to myself..
why didnt you reply my sms? after 3 to 4 months of everday sms-ing and msn-ing.. i cannot do a day without a sms or msn from you...
i know i am not a very interesting person,
i know you have heard of all the jokes and riddles which i told you,
but i am trying to improve myself. trying to find more jokes and riddles to tell you so that it would not be so quiet every time we talk..
i dont mind wasting time entertaining you,
i dont mind waiting for you,
i dont mind sending you home,
i dont mind treating you dinner or lunch or movie...
i may be trying too hard.. but all i want is your attention.. i greeted you every morning, without fail since dec.. its ending mar now... 4 months.. without fail, i would sms or msn you, wishing you good morning.. you know how happy and delighted i am when i used to receive your morning sms when i am in the gym? i used to look forward to everyday, looking forward to your sms.. but now, i dread everyday.. i dread morning..
i cannot concentrate on anything i do...
keeping myself busy doesnt help at all.. everytime i try to read my text, my mind would be filled with you and your sms and your face...
keeping myself free doesnt really help also.. i would keep thinking of you when i am free.. thinking of the places which i can bring you if we were together.. but alas all my wishful thinking..
i dont expect you to say yes or have any actions.. afterall, i am not a very attractive guy.. all i ask for is some attention and a chance to be a good guy!
i havent even confess my feelings to you, although any idiots would have known that i have feelings for you.. do you not have a little bit of feelings for me? i choose not to believe that.. otherwise you wouldnt have replied me so instantly for the past 3 or 4 months..
why this sudden change in you? if you already have gotten someone, you could have let me know.. this feeling of uncertainty really sucks.. the feeling of 'waiting for nothing' is not much better..
i feel like giving up! but you shall be the last girl i shall fall for.. doubt i am going to wait for anyone else.. and doubt i am going to like anyone in the near future..
i always admire guys who can go home, hand in hand with their gf... i always admire guys who can go to movie with their gf.. have dinner with their gf.. bring their gf home to have dinner..
i feel miserable now.. no chocolate can make me any happier now.. all i need is time or a sms from you..
you arent the first one to treat me like this.. i should have gotten used to this feeling and shouldnt have wish for so much.. my bad for not learning my lessons.. i kind of hate myself now..
everyone said that i am mr nice and my future gf or wife would be damn fortunate.. i dont believe this anymore and i totally dread hearing this another time..
i miss you............. i want to go china in the summer.. to forget everything and start all over again... since i cannot get together with you, i wan to forget you.. i want to go somewhere far far away...